Of Goo and Glory, Chapter 1

My dog has dug a large hole in my backyard and is losing her mind about what’s inside. I look in the hole and know instantly that I will be on the news.

So, I close it. Instantly.

You know, I am of considerable age and have seen plenty in this world. Therefore, I also know when to close a hole. My dog is losing her shit, so, I have to calm her down in the house.

Then, I return to the place where she has dug up the weird thing. I need to start thinking. As a biologist I know that nature owns its own immune system. If there is a weird contamination hazard, many microorganisms in the soil may tackle it. But it’s a dry summer, rain has not happened for weeks. Earthly microorganisms need water to gain their best performance.

Having this is mind, I fetch my watering can and pour ponds of water onto that delicate spot. Then, I start thinking about miscellaneous events like nosy neighbors. Maybe put some grass bricks onto it? Better do.

After a while, the spot looks nearly as neat as the rest of the meadow. Pleased, I return to the house and plan to take the dog for a walk.

A day passes, and my nerves calm down. Probably nature has taken care of it. I will never again face that thing.

But then, the doorbell rings. I open the door and look into the face of my dear neighbor Marianda. She smiles and lifts a small box she carries with both her hands.

“I am glad you are at home, Pandora! You are the only one who could make something out of that. Look what I have found!”

She opens the box, and to my horror, I see the thing I hoped to have buried well. Joyfully she continues. “It bulged out of my meadow. It is moving on its own! Did I discover a new species?”

When you know Marianda long enough, you aren’t much surprised that such a thing does not scare her. Well, anyway, I have to take care of that.

“Wow, Marianda, you made quite a discovery! But I think it is a common fungus. You know, there are some fungi which can move on their own. They look like goo, too.”

Disappointed, she looks down at the box. “So, you mean it is nothing special? But it is red!”

“Yes, fungi can be quite red. Just think of the toadstool.”

“Aww, so it’s just a mushroom.” But then, she smiles, “Though a funny one. Now, I got to know a moving mushroom myself!”

I smile back while slowly getting hold of the box. “Yes, you did! And I can take care of it. I know perfectly well where it thrives better than here.”